Every year Father’s Day rolls around, and every year I question how I feel. I remember telling myself, “I hate Father’s Day”. I would try to fill the day with activities that would take my mind off the pain of a non existent relationship with my father. Some years I would cry, other’s I would be in a sort of “funk” dwelling on the memories we did have together. This year, I chose to shift my thoughts . . . to my heavenly Father, and the beauty of that relationship.
My father is alive. In fact, I know where he lives and I keep up on his life through family members who have little communication with him. The relationship has been on and off my whole life, but for the majority of it, he has been an absent father. There’s a lot more to the situation than what I am sharing, but the fact is we don’t have a relationship. I haven’t spoken with him in probably about six or more years. I attempted contact with him and it sadly went sour. But here’s the thing – I don’t hate my dad. This blogpost is not a “dad bashing” blog. In fact, I love my dad. I love my dad with every inch of me.
My dad is one of those people that can walk in a room and light it up with his charismatic personality. He’s a gifted individual who can sit down at a piano and wow a crowd with his incredible talent to play by ear. The times I did spend with my dad when I was little were my fondest memories that I treasure close to my heart; Walking up to the convienent store down the road to play Pac Man, listening to Van Halen, making milkshakes together, watching wrestling & the Dallas Cowboys play, or even tearing up at the age of 5 when my dad would play the piano ( I understood the beauty of music at 5). Till this day- I can’t hear a piano without thinking of my dad.
There isn’t a day that doesn’t go by where something reminds me of him. I even dream of him most nights. More than anything in this world ( I would trade all of the money in this world) to have a relationship with him. My heart hurts. Your probably asking yourself, “Why don’t you just call him?”. I promise, it’s not that easy and if it was, I would bypass the phone and be at his door in a heartbeat.
So here’s where I am at, yesterday was Father’s Day and I don’t have a relationship with my dad but guess what? I do have a relationship with a different dad- my Heavenly Father. In the absence of an earthly father I have learned everything I know from my Abba Father. I have gained a confidence in myself from the man above and a trust that surpasses anything. Though there are a ton of things I didn’t quite learn how to do (that a dad should teach you) I’m confident in my relationship with Christ that I can do anything. Most importantly, I know I am a daughter of the King, and that I am part of a bloodline of royalty.
Something that The Lord has taught me is this : And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Faith – I can not see what is going on behind the scenes of this situation but I trust God is working in it.
Hope – I continuously pray for a broken relationship to be healed and redeemed. God says this – “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.” I pray for my dad, and my myself because I know I’ve done some hurtful things too.
Love- I love my dad for the good and bad. I’ve forgiven him and I will never give up on this relationship.
I know there are other girls out there without a dad, and I just want to encourage you – don’t give up, no matter what anyone says. Pray. Prayer is so powerful and we forget how it can alter a situation. Even if you aren’t seeing results, God is a God of deep intimacy and nothing goes unheard. I believe God is working in my situation – I really do and I won’t give up. And if there is some small chance my dad were to ever read this I would want him to know this – I love you daddy.